I read a quote from Woody Allen the yesterday in a post by Dave Schuler over at Outside the Beltway, and I wanted to capture it here. Yes, Woody Allen can manage to be hugely unfunny at times, but this one tickles me.

Paraphrasing: what’s a three syllable word beginning with 'P' that means you think that everybody’s out to get you?

Perceptive.

I was crawling through Dean's site and ran across the most hilarious blonde joke ever!

Seriously, isn't that the best blonde joke ever?

I heard a blurb on the radio this morning about a promotion in DC to get more folks, primarily federal government employees, to do more telework by offering them free ice cream. All the employees have to do is show up at the Federal Triangle today between noon and 1 pm, and they'll get a complimentary ice cream bar.

So, let me get this straight: if you're not teleworking, you can get free ice cream, but if you're working from home, you're out of luck.

Makes sense to me. But I think I'd rather buy some ammo, anyway.

It's often interesting to look through my server logs and see how folks got around to visiting my humble abode here on the Intarwebz. The referrals can point to who's linking to me (not that anyone does much of that any more, although I did mention one unexpected link a while back), and the search phrases can really make me scratch my head.

I can't for the life of me figure out how byron's signature on temple at union pointed here, or even what the googler was hoping to find, here or anywhere else. Another head scratcher is how do you spell 12. Huh?

But the one I have to defend myself over is "chris mcgehee" texas. Honest, Kevin, I can't imagine how that happened.

Update: Now I'm the top result on Google for the Byron search phrase above. Great, just what I wanted.

One thing that all Texans seem to love is a good Aggie joke. I know, posting jokes on the Intarwebs is lame, but sometimes, I've just gotta share.

Four old retired guys are walking down a street in Ft. Myers, Florida. They turned a corner and see a sign that says, "Old Timers Bar - All Drinks 10 Cents."

They look at each other then go in, thinking this is too good to be true.

The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, "Come on in and let me pour one for you! What'll it be, gentlemen?"

There seemed to be a fully-stocked bar, so each of the men ask for a martini. In short order, the bartender serves up four iced martinis, shaken, not stirred, and says, "That'll be 10 cents each, please."

The four men stare at the bartender for a moment, then look at each other. They can't believe their good luck. They pay the 40 cents, finish their martinis, and order another round.

Again, four excellent martinis are produced with the bartender again saying, "That's 40 cents, please."

They pay the 40 cents, but their curiosity is more than they can stand. They have each had two martinis, and so far they've spent less than a dollar. Finally one of the men says, "How can you afford to serve martinis as good as these for a dime apiece?"

"I'm a retired tailor from Boston," the bartender said, "and I always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the Lottery for $25 million and decided to open this place. Every drink costs a dime - wine, liquor, beer, it's all the same."

"Wow! That's quite a story," says one of the men. The four of them sipped at their martinis and couldn't help but notice three other guys at the end of the bar who didn't have drinks in front of them, and hadn't ordered anything the whole time they were there.

One man gestures at the three at the end of the bar without drinks and asks the bartender, "What's with them?"

The bartender says, "Oh, they're from Texas A&M. They're waiting for happy hour, when drinks are half price."

I can't help it, but the I Can Has Cheezburger? web site consistently has me in stitches.

Yeah, I'm pathetic. So sue me.