As my regular readers will recall, I lost my father to bone cancer last month, three days before his 79th birthday. The effects that this loss will have on me haven't been fully recognized.
In case you didn't know, I'm from Texas. I'm a proud Texan (yes, I know that's redundant). Circumstances dictate that I live in Virginia for now, but my heart is in Texas.
My father wasn't the only member of my family who lives in Texas; both of my brothers live there, too (my mother passed away 35 years ago). Especially over recent years, I've visted with both of them when I've gone to Texas. They're my closest relatives from my youth, and I love them dearly. In our direct lineage, we have no living relatives now from an earlier generation. We're the old guys.
But that notwithstanding, Dad's passing has had a profound attitudinal effect on me. It dawned on me this evening that, despite the fact that both of my siblings live in Texas, my anchor there is gone. This isn't intended to take anything away from Dick or Dan, but I definitely feel the difference when I think about my ties to Texas.
I'll still return to the land of my birth, my heritage, because I love it there. Hopefully, I'll move back there some day. Until then, I'll go back to visit my brothers, because I love them dearly (did I say that already?).
But it feels different now. With Dad gone, I've lost my anchor. I expect that, with time, I'll regain it to some degree. But it's different now. And nothing can change that.
Thanks for putting up with my little bout of self-indulgence.
