For those of you who aren't familiar with tornadoes and are hearing news coverage of this, Xenos from the InterWARN Forums put together a short glossary to help you understand, and I have shamelessly stolen it and reproduced it here.

Fujita Scale: Scale used to measure wind speeds of tornadoes and their severity.

F1: A laughable little string of wind unless it comes through your house, then it’s enough to make your insurance company drop you like a brick. People enjoy standing on their porches to watch this kind.

F2: Strong enough to blow your car into your house, unless of course you drive an Expedition and live in a mobile home, then strong enough to blow your house into your truck.

F3: Will pick your house and your Expedition up and move them to the other side of town.

F4: Usually ranging from ½ to a full mile wide, this tornado can turn an Expedition into a Pinto, then gift wrap it in a semi truck.

F5: The Mother of all Tornadoes, you might as well stand on your front porch and watch it, because it's probably going to be one hell of a last sight.

Meteorologist: A rather soft-spoken, mild-mannered type of person until severe weather strikes, when they start yelling at you through the TV: "GET TO YOUR BATHROOM OR YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!"

Storm Chaser: Meteorologist-rejects who are pretty much insane but get us really cool pictures of tornadoes. We release them from the mental institution every time it starts thundering, just to see what they'll do.

Tranquilizer: What you have to give any dog or cat that lived through the May 3rd, 1999 tornado every time it storms, or they tear your whole house up freaking out of their minds.

Moore, Oklahoma: A favorite gathering place for tornadoes. They like to meet here and do a little partying before stretching out across the rest of the Midwest.

Bathtub: Best place to seek shelter in the middle of a tornado, mostly because after you're covered with debris, you can quickly wash off and come out looking great.

Severe Weather Radio: A handy device that receives messages from the National Weather Service during a storm, though the high pitched, shrill noise just as an alarm sounds is quite disconcerting, because it sounds suspiciously like a tornado. Plus the guy reading the report just sounds creepy.

Tornado Siren: A system the city spent millions to install, which is really useful, unless there's a storm or a tornado, because then, of course, you can't hear it.

Storm Cellar: A great place to go during a tornado, as it is almost 100% safe, though weigh your options carefully, since most are not cared for and are homes to rats and snakes.

May-June: Tourist season in Oklahoma, when people who are tired of bungee jumping and diving out of airplanes decide it might be fun to chase a tornado. These people usually end up as contestants on Fear Factor.

Barometric Pressure: Nobody really knows what this is, but when it drops, a lot of pregnant women go into labor, which makes for exciting moments as their husbands are trying to drive them to the hospital and dodge tornadoes at the same time.

Cars: The worst place to be during a tornado (except for a mobile home). Yes, you can out run a tornado in your car...unless everybody on the road decides to do the same thing, and then you're in grid lock.

A Ditch: Supposedly where you're supposed to go if you find yourself without shelter or in your car during a tornado. Theoretically the tornado is supposed to pass right over you, but since it can lift a 20-ton truck and uproot a three-hundred-year-old tree, I'd take my chances on outrunning it in a car.

Mobile Home: Most people are convinced mobile homes send off some strange signal that triggers tornadoes, because if there's one mobile home park in a hundred mile radius, the tornado will find it.

Earthquake: What any Californian would rather go through on any scale of severity instead of facing a tornado.

Tornado: What any Oklahoman would rather go through on any scale of severity instead of facing an earthquake.

Twister: Slang for tornado. It's also the title of a movie starring Helen Hunt, which, incidentally, everyone in Oklahoma thought was corny and unrealistic until May 3rd, 1999.

Power Flash: One of the most reliable ways to track a tornado at night, it's the term used when the tornado hits a power line and a bright light flashes. It's also the emotion experienced by meteorologists when they get to make the call to interrupt prime-time must-see TV and a million dollars worth of advertising to track a storm for viewers.

Here are some phrases you might want to learn and be familiar with:

"We'll have your electricity restored in 24 hours," means it'll be a week.

"Power is going to be out for a week, so buy a lot of supplies and an expensive generator," means it's going to be on in twelve hours, probably as soon as you return from Wal-Mart with your generator.

"It's a little muggy today." means "Get outta town. It's getting ready to storm."

"There's just a slight chance of severe weather today, so go ahead and make your outdoor plans." Ha. Ha ha ha ha.

And the BIG TIP of the day:

When your electricity goes out, and you go to bed at night, be sure to turn off everything that was on before it went out, or when it is unexpectedly restored in the middle of the night, every light, every computer, your dishwasher, your blow dryer, your washing machine, your microwave and your fans will all come on all at once.

1) You'll just about have a heart attack when they all come on at the same time, waking you from a dead sleep.

2) Your breakers will blow, leaving you in the dark once again.